sex: F(eel when no gf)

allisonscrown:

"where’s my christian grey????” hopefully locked up in prison

(via daisyanatomy)

the reason there are so many jewish people in hollywood is because the arts are a huge part of jewish culture whereas sports aren’t, not because jewish people own the world or run the illuminati or whatever

why is every jewish character either nerdy comic relief or J. Robert Oppenheimer

At Sunday school

princeowl: does Jesus love me?

princeowl: He loves you with every beat of His cocaine heart (:

mulders:

date me so we can light candles and watch the x files in the dark

Watchin’ X-Files with no lights on
We’re dans la maison
I hope the Smoking Man’s in this one

(via speckledhound)

horror movie opening scene

princeowl: i dont like this abandoned insane asylum, zack.

princeowl: come on, amanda, 10 years ago tonight, the famous blood skull killer committed his last murder right here and then vanished.

princeowl: you're just trying to scare me.

princeowl: lmao

princeowl: they continue walking for a few seconds

princeowl: *white couple hears noise*

princeowl: babe what that??

princeowl: i'll go investigate

princeowl: *leaves her alone*

princeowl: *choking noises*

princeowl: zack!!!

princeowl: ha ha just kidding!

princeowl: asshole!

princeowl: im just playin babe

princeowl: that wasnt funny but ur still cute

princeowl: *playful kiss*

princeowl: *things turn sexy*

princeowl: *hear noise*

princeowl: i'll go investigate

princeowl: *he leaves and then there's a silence for a long time*

princeowl: *maybe a thud*

princeowl: zack! this isnt funny anymore zack!

princeowl: *she walks and he dead*

princeowl: ahhh!!

princeowl: *killer shows up with sickle or quirky weapon that distinguishes him from other horror movie villains*

princeowl: ahhh!!!

princeowl: *white girl runs*

princeowl: *dead end*

princeowl: *hides*

princeowl: *thinks she free n safe*

princeowl: *guy catches her*

princeowl: *cuts her*

princeowl: *she dead*

princeowl: BLOOD SLICE IN 3-D

i like how good I am at coming up with stories and ideas in my head, maybe it’s nothin special but it makes me feel special even if half my ideas are horrible

IKR XAVIER I COME UP WITH THE COOLEST IDEAS?? COME ON HOLLYWOOD YALL AINT GOT ANY IDEAS PEOPLE LIKE MY IDEAS!! PLEASE

mydear-westillhaveeverything:

"you know what to do with that big fat butt…"

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(via halizabeth)